Maths Raped Me Today.

I am in so much thought pain now. 8(

Remember I pwned E Maths just a few days ago, right?

Well, E Maths consulted his brother for assistance because I bullied him.

My goodness, his brother A Maths was so giant and muscular. And not to mention very angry with me.

I tried to fight him off but I was...

1) Made flatter than paper.
2) Ground to a fine dust.
3) Ripped to bite-size shreds.
4) Turned to coeslaw with a pair of bare hands.

Basically, he just pwned me.

ALL MY BASE BELONGS TO HIM.

So there I was, a smoking heap of human ash, wondering what went wrong.

How did EZ N00B E Maths have such a tough customer for a brother?

Not only did he have brute strength, but he has some good fighting techniques as well!

He engaged the duel with a first blow, but I dodged. Unfortunately, he quickly recovered and used the Binomial Theorem and I was struck in mid-air. Later, he slammed me down with Logarithms.

Ouchies.

I got up and tried for a kick in his nuts but was countered with Indices! I was on the ground again soon after. That was when the mincing of my flesh started.

Luckily, he was in a "good mood", so he spared my life. Maybe that was not his intent, for I was left with every bone in my body either broken, dislocated or fractured. He beat me up so bad that when I bled, the blood instantly clotted.

A kind soul heard my moans of agony and went to get help. I was hospitalised with 3rd degree burns, multiple torn ligaments and a mental breakdown. The ordeal was really horrifying. Even as I write this, my hands still tremble and quiver in the shuddering thought of it. I was immediately rushed to TPARH (Tio Pwned And Raped Hospital). I was given literally litres of adrenaline and painkillers to increase my chances of survival. The doctors attached a life support system to my ass and started to search me for identification. They can't find anything of course; A Maths force-fed me my wallet. It was being digested in my stomach as they spoke.

I was admitted into the GDL ward (Gonna Die Liao) at exactly 2:00pm. Funny, I was the only person there.

At around 7:00pm, I opened my eyes. I was surprised and uber-saddened to see nothing but blackness.....oh wait, my eyeballs were gouged in, the doctors are gonna take them out later.

I heard a melodious voice. It was a female voice.

She said "Don't worry, everything will be fine. Here, take this. It will rid you of all your physical pains."

I felt my mouth being opened manually. Suddenly, a sweet liquid entered my err...buccal cavity (heehee). Within seconds, I felt an extreme, heavenly feeling. A feeling I have never felt before. I could feel my bones mending and my wounds closing. My eyeballs soon popped back into place and I felt like a NEW MAN. I took off my bandages to catch a glimpse of the mystery that was unfolding around and on me. I turned my head to the hallway.

I saw a beautiful female specimen walking away and fading into thin air.

I looked to the floor. To my surprise, I found an empty, green carton; once filled with the miracle liquid that was given to me. On the carton, in large, bold words, read:

"Minuman Malt Coklat Berkhasiat"
"MILO"

That's an awfully strange name for a Heaven-sent drink.

The sexay nurse arrived at the scene for my first sponge bath, but quickly left with a scream when she saw a fully-healed me.

I stood up and to my awe, a pair of white, angel-like wings sprouted from my back, like an extension of my shoulder blades. "Wow, Milo gives you wings!", I thought to myself.

I flew out and back home, took a bath and went straight to the computer to type this entry.

Just when I thought I was all fine, I was assaulted once again....by muscle cramps.

All I have to say is - I LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY.

Thanks for listening to my incredible tale.